Blogger’s Block

I’ve been away from blogging too long. It’s funny how one can be so honest and open for a season then when your life turns upside down, you just don’t wanna talk about it anymore.  There’s no good way to spin it, no “bright side” to rely on. Nevertheless, I have been writing a lot, mostly on screenplays with Maria (just put up a new joint venture site here)… not really writing any poetry or songs because I’m not comfortable with my emotional stability at the time. The last song I wrote… was hilarious… I wrote two lines and started crying. lol. So I’ll just be patient with the songwriting for now.

Talking with Maria about how I need to finish my novel (which I barely started) but I can’t get motivation to do it. So I’m pretty much throwing all my energy into screenwriting. Thank God for my fantastic writing partner Maria, without her I would have dried up completely by now.

Scar

somewhere in time a heart was broken
the sound of the break filled the earth
somewhere in space he left me a token
to give my heartache a hearth

somewhere in darkness I'm standing alone
no effort to pull myself through
somewhere in future the truth is known
and now alone standing are you

somewhere in past is a heart shy of grown
too young to see you how you are
somewhere today I stand on my own
and now all that's left is the scar

(C) 2009 Erica Kuhn. All Rights Reserved.

Want

I wear my heart on my sleeve

to speak, my eyes say everything

I long for little more than touch

two hearts connected would be enough

no fancy words need satisfy me

just open arms that won’t deny me

a face that knows my thoughts without speaking

a heart that longs for me completely

I want to know my heart is safe

together nights and together days

a loving heart that never tires

of wanting love to take us higher

when I’m lost to hold my hand

when I’m weak to be my man

when I’m strong, look proud and smile

I might get crazy, but in my style

someone to let me touch his face

who can follow me or show the way

I hope that he can share beauty too

and I really hope that “he” can be you

(c) 2009 Erica Kuhn. All Rights Reserved.

The Progression

Chaos

Irritation

Impatience

Anger

Crisis

Depression

Exhaustion

Rest

Gloom

Reflection

Frustration

Self-Medication

False joy

Numbness

Sleep

The Guarded Eyes

What is it hiding behind those eyes?
What secret are you keeping?
I only imagine and romanticize
The luminescence that’s creeping

I stare until my eyes cross
I think on it till my thoughts tire
I hope to find the guard at loss
But you keep hidden your desire

What about you does intrigue me?
Why do you hold my attention so?
What about you will not leave me?
Why do I feel so desperate to know?

Tell me, is this beauty real?
Does my heart deceive my wisdom much?
I don’t even need a big show or big deal
Just to see it close and maybe touch

First your face and then your heart

MySpace Records Contest

Check out my widget for my entry into the Toyota contest for a record deal with MySpace Records. Feel free to add my widget if you wanna support my music! Thanks.

(widget available at my MySpace profile)

http://www.myspace.com/ericakuhn

The Burdened

I saw you smile today
You were passing by
And I went the other way
I hate to avoid you
But I’m still gone
Though you asked me to stay

It was good to see your joy
And I’m hoping you
Will understand someday
That I’m no good for you
Though I’m hurt deeply
And I’ll never be okay

Seems like such a long time ago
Because it’s all a big blur
And I can’t remember what was said
The aching inside me is numbed
Because I know you’re doing fine
But you’re still swimming in my head

I hate to retract my creed
I still agree with the choice
But I loath the follow through
I cannot regret setting you free
Because you must be, you must
So I can’t ever hurt you

And knowing this is strength
Though my wound is deep
And nothing can make me worsen
Because leaving you was good
The best choice for you
But I’ll forever be the burdened

The Makings of a Perfect Day

A sore throat with an earache to match

Full body aches and a tummy ache, too

A handful of medicine that might not stay down

Ricola has numbed strange parts of my mouth

But of course not the sore throat

Although I don’t actually have a cough

So cough drops could be expected to be ineffective

But it’s my only option

I’d rather try that and suffer a little

Than try nothing and suffer much

My cereal is stale

My water tastes funny because of the Ricola

I want to drink the milk off my cereal

But I’m not sure my stomach can handle it

My lower back aches and I don’t know why

Actually my upper arms and upper legs hurt too

I feel tired even though I got plenty of sleep

AND I was six minutes late to work

Annoying people are calling me

I want to cry and I’m considering

Crawling under my desk and falling asleep

Maybe the sleepy stupor will numb the agony

Ahhh Monday

Last Minute Gig

Some musician friends of mine are playing at a little bar in town tonight.  I texted one of the guys to see if there’s a cover charge and he said no, and to come on out and do a song or two.  I couldn’t pass the opportunity even though my instinct is to tuck my tail and run home crying.  I haven’t done a gig since September of last year, so I need some stage time for sure!

Anyway, so I’m really nervous about it but it’s just a couple songs.  No big deal.  Bring on the anxiety meds. lol.

Plus, three of the bandmembers have played on gigs with me before so I’m sure they’ll back me so it won’t be a solo. That’s good.

New Stuff

Progress report…

Maria and I have begun our second script together.  We so enjoyed co-writing the last one, we’re giving it another go.  This time with a dark comedy. 

Today I’m going to make a list of all the scenes we should need based on our outline.  Then, hopefully, later today I’ll start writing.  Should be great fun, I really love this story.

Also, I’m 12 pages into my first novel.  I’m taking this project a little slower because it’s my first, and because I want to get it right.  So, I’m moving slowly so I can make sure I’m good with what I’ve done before I move on. I’m not in a huge rush to push out a novel, my focus is screenplays.  But they are both coming along.